I've been putting writing a new journal entry off for months now, but I gotta bump that old one out of the way
Although... I'm not real sure what to talk about. It's why I've been putting it off so long
Um, so I guess I'll start with art stuff first. I'm still working on the art challenge with MimmiMe I'm just super slow at it and need to stop waiting til the last couple days in the month to work on it
. That's actually a huge thing I'm having a problem with, making a schedule and sticking to it. Since I don't work a regular 9-5ish job anymore, every day is different depending on how much work is available at my current job. It's transcription work, and the workload from day to day is very unpredictable. And not knowing how much I'll be working each day kind of throws things off.
Anyway, I'm working on making myself stick to a schedule. My body's internal clock is so screwed up that my days and nights are flipped, so I've got to force myself to fix that too. I want to start getting as much work done in the mornings as I can and dedicating the afternoon to art stuff. Then if I have time in the evenings, I'll transcribe some more because there's usually a little more to do at night than in the morning.
So besides the monthly art challenge, I have one commission to finish (newboldworld
I'm so sorry for your wait. You have the patience of a saint
I also have a new series I want to try based on this
that I plan to experiment with my own OCs. I'm also considering opening a special type of commission for this, but I'm not totally decided yet. I need to finish some other things first
After watching the new trailers for Kingdom Hearts 3 (we FINALLY have a release date of January 19, 2019!!!!
), I really REALLY want to make fanart for it. Especially of Sora in his new outfit for the Pirates of the Caribbean world
And I should really make some art for
I actually own a worg but have never even made any art for him besides 2 tiny sketches. But this is him:
His name is Takoda, and his handler will be... Fane. Yeah
Gonna be very interesting to see him in a completely different world, but I'm excited to play with the idea
And for some reason, I really want to vamp up my YouTube channel and start making some sort of art vlog thing. I gotta confess, TerriTheSketcher
is a huge inspiration for me wanting to try that
I'm honestly not sure I can do well in front of a camera. I tried it one day to test where and how I would do it, and just totally froze. I know I talk during livestreams, but those are a little different... for... some... reason. Don't ask me to explain, it just is
I think that's about it as far as art stuff goes. For real life stuff, as I said, I'm still working full time with the transcription company. I was a little disappointed earlier this year because I wasn't making nearly as much money as I needed or wanted to be, but it looks like things are picking up for the company, and it seems like we're getting more work. So I just hope the workload continues to improve, because I've heard from other workers that summer is pretty slow
One thing about this job is that I literally sit in front of the computer for hours on end typing. So as a result, I've gained a bit of weight. That and a pretty hard breakup in February I think have contributed to that along with horrible eating habits. Doritos are my comfort food
. My mom likes to walk a couple miles a few days a week and is losing a lot of weight from that, so I'm trying to start doing that with her more often. And last week I bought some new tires and tubes for my bicycle that I've had since I was a teenager, because the tires were pretty much rotten because it has been sitting in a shed for like 10 years at least. I'm surprised the thing is still in this good of shape. It's rusty in some places, but the gears still work great, even if the brakes squeak very loudly
I was doing really good riding the bike a few days last week trying to build up some endurance...
Until Saturday. One of my little cousin's had his 2-year-old birthday party at an indoor playground, and he was scared to climb and slide by himself the first time, so I went with him. When we came down the slide, I had him sitting on my lap since he was nervous. There's about a 2 foot or so drop at the bottom of the slide, so when we got to the bottom, I naturally tried to stand up. But the playground rules are no shoes allowed, so I was only wearing socks, so my feet slid right out from under me. And even though there was a mat down at the bottom, it is totally flat (I mean, the place is so old that me and my older cousins had birthday parties at this place when we were little).
So I fell flat on my tailbone. HARD. Like to the point where I was literally breathless for a few seconds. I managed to get up with some help and limped around for a while, and the pain finally dulled a little. But then another little boy at the party was also scared to go through the playground by himself, and no one would go with him. For some reason he came to me, even though we've never even met. So I hated to say no to the poor guy. It made me feel good that he trusted me that much... but it was a big mistake partly because since I'm not a little kid anymore, those tunnels seem super tiny now, and I had to scoot on my butt to get through. Should have crawled on my hands and knees, but that was hard because I had on shorts and so no protection on my knees. By the time we got out, I was in so much pain I was almost crying and actually felt nauseous and faint like I might pass out. Several people offered to take me to the doctor or hospital, but I insisted I was fine. Yeah, I probably should have gone, but there's really not much they could do anyway about a busted tailbone.
So here I am 4 days later, and I still can't sit down. I have to lay on my side. And a huge bruise is forming. Yesterday, my mom actually got one of those donut hole seat things that takes pressure off your tailbone, so I was able to at least sit up long enough to get some work done. But I can't long at all. I'm sitting on it now while I type, but still in a lot of pain. It's so embarrassing. Of all the things I could have injured, it had to be my freaking butt
So. That was my adventerous weekend
I've been in the house for 4 days, I'm going crazy. And I'm wasting so much time. I should be doing stuff. I should be socializing.
That's another thing actually. For some reason, here lately I feel like I'm reverting back to my high school days where I rarely talk. In school, I literally would not talk unless I had to. I don't know why. I think it's an anxiety thing. In high school I was literally afraid to talk to people. And for some reason, I feel a little bit of that creeping back up on me. I've been having a bad problem with anxiety the past year or so, but I thought it was mostly due to my pharmacy job. I've found out now that's not the case and it's not as simple to get rid of as I thought. I mean, I'm so happy with this new job, but I've been anxious all year about if I'm making enough money or if I should get a second part time job because I want to move out soon. It's embarrassing to me to be a 27 year old and have to tell people you still live at home with your parents. I see the looks people give, or the tone when they say "Oh, ok." Maybe I read too much into it, I don't know.
Also, tryinng to decide if I want an apartment or a house is worrying me to death. Apartments here are $800+, most above $1000. The cheap apartments are in very bad neighborhoods where I hear in the news of people getting shot or stabbed all the time, or there's drug dealers all around. So I'm thinking a house may be the way to go. There's not much around here that I can afford because everyone that owns a house around here inherited it and the 40+ acres of land around it. The only people who can afford that are the horse people moving here from up north because land is cheaper for them here. But I can't afford multi-million dollar houses with land. Everything else is mostly in the $200,000 and up range, unless you want a fixer upper.
But, I have found 3 that were under $100,000 that I had set my heart on, and 2 of them are gone now. So I'm hoping that by the time I can afford to, that that house will still be on the market. Only thing is, I'm not sure about getting approved for a loan because I have no credit history. I only just recently acquired a credit card, and I haven't even used it yet. But who knows how long it will take to build up some good credit.
Anyway... I'm just rambling now, sorry. Needed to get some of this off of my chest I guess
So to any watchers that are still following me, thanks for sticking around. I'm sorry for not replying to comments much anymore. Part of that social anxiety thing I guess. But I need to stop making excuses. I will try to do better. I have friendships and family relationships I need to repair, and that scares me too. But I need to get my butt into gear and fix some things.
But yeah, thanks for sticking around. I'll work on getting a better schedule and trying to update more here and on other social media
PS. Do you guys find more traffic for your art on other sites? I've heard dA is "dying" and I've noticed a lot of the more popular artists are going to other platforms like Instagram and Twitter. Do any of those work better for you than dA? I'm just curious. I've not had much luck on other sites, but that's because I don't post often as most do I think